I wanted to give a back story to this journey for us. I have written several other posts on my other blog but they really didn't fit the "creative" aspect that I started that one for.
I'm "pasting" them here because, again, I'm an idiot when it comes to this blogging stuff and I have no idea how I can just share them.
Uncertainties
Wednesday, March 27, 2013 (1)
I wasn't sure how I felt about blogging about this process but I have been reminded that there are so many people that have gone through this scenario before me and have lifted me up with their experiences that I would like the opportunity to do the same for someone in the future. I feel like that's one of the reasons that God has put me here on earth.
A short back story...I have had painful periods for as long as I can remember. My doctor originally put me on birth control to make it ease up and for years I was fine. After JGIII and I got married and we decided to start a family, I was no longer going to be on these pills. I began having worse and worse pain every month but thought it was something we (as women) just had to live with. I refused to ever let that be a reason for missing work or not being able to do something. Fast forward to 2 years ago. In a routine visit with my endocrinologist about bmy thyroid issues, she discussed with me the possibility of having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). No one had ever mentioned that to me before and after a simple blood test for my hormone levels, it was determined that I did in fact have that. I was put on Metformin (a diabetic drug) that has been shown to help with PCOS. After being on that for only 2 months, I ended up being in the hospital diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (a whole 'nother ordeal lol). While I was there, they confirmed that I didn't have quite a few cysts surrounding both of my ovaries. I got the UC under control and was seemingly fine. However, I was still not able to get pregnant and having those painful cycles. Each month that went by was more frustration and heartache that it hadn't worked.
Fast forward to 1 year ago. I was at home with the flu (the real flu-it'll teach me not to get a flu shot) and of course started my cycle at the same time (Murphy's Law). I was having such bad pain that I finally had to go to the emergency room. They decided it was my appendix which they removed but made sure to tell me that the cysts that had been on both of my ovaries were now abscesses. I left the hospital from the surgery and returned right back the next week because the pain had actually increased. Turns out those abscesses were causing high fevers and LOTS of pain.
My ob-gyn finally saw me and did an ultrasound. Something had to be done immediately. I was admitted for my 3rd hospital stay within a month and placed on high intravenous antibiotics. They also attempted to drain the abscesses around my ovaries. This was all the doctors combined efforts to save the ovaries as I was still trying to get pregnant for the first time. The procedure worked on my right ovary but not on the left. They successfully got the infection under control and happily I've had no fevers since then. However, in the past 2-3 months, the pain has been coming back with a vengeance. Some days I can go with only taking Advil/ibuprofen at bedtime other days I have to be on it every 6 hours or I can't function.
Because of the problems with the abscesses, my ob-gyn said I will have to see a fertility specialist to assist in our getting pregnant. I had my first appointment with a local clinic that many people I knew had used and were successful at. I met with the doctor on the first visit who told me there would be nothing they could BUT in vitro fertilization. I was totally not prepared for that. Because of the damage that was done by the infection, much of the area surrounding and including my ovaries is damaged. My fallopian tubes are at least partially blocked and the fluid that is supposed to be absorbed by your body is instead cycling around through my tubes, uterus, etc. This fluid will be instantly toxic to any egg or sperm that encountered it. The doc wanted to perform a sterilization procedure on me to seal off the tubes and keep this fluid out of the uterus. Wow! Imagine going in thinking they would go over the several steps you could take before in vitro but being told they wanted to "sterilize" you. Needless to say I was shaken up. I had been at this appointment alone because JGIII couldn't leave work and I was falling to pieces. I honestly felt hopeless at this point. To top everything off, before I left I had to meet with the financial person. I felt like they were just there to take my money.
As I am not one to relinquish control on anything, I decided to get a second opinion. I had several other people who recommended UNC Fertility. I did some online research and decided to give it a try. My meeting with Dr. Fritz was awesome. He spent SO much time with me and made sure I understood everything that he was talking about. He didn't rush or act like he had something else to do. He was totally honest with me that my body is really failing me in this area. He told me the same things that I had been told at the other clinic but I didn't feel like all hope was lost.
We are taking everything one step at a time.
Today is the first step. I had my AMH (Ovarian reserve) levels tested to see what my total number of egg storage is like. As long as it's good, it means that if we go through with the in vitro, the stimulation would be able to produce eggs. I'll be meeting in a short little while to get these results.
I'm saying lots of prayers today that things work out. I know this is in God's hands and I need to, as they say, "Let Go and Let God". Easier said than done sometimes.
Quick Update to "Uncertainties"
Wednesday, March 27, 2013 (2)
I wanted to write a quick update to my earlier post today...
Just got back from my appointment with the fertility clinic. Again, I can't stress enough how great Dr. Fritz is. If anyone is reading this, or knows someone who needs a reference on a fertility clinic I will definitely back them for everything I've had up to this point.
I had asked that other fertility clinic to send over my medical records (really just the results of the AMH blood test I had done) to UNC Fertility. As a reaffirmation of why I was NOT in the right place when I went there, they sent over records on a completely different person attached to my release. After calling and relaying my frustration to them (I was polite lol) they did manage to find the correct information and fax it over.
The good news....my AMH levels were great! Dr. Fritz couldn't have been more pleased. For those of you with a medical background, it was 7.4. Not sure what "normal" is but it was good news all the same. Before I left, Dr. Fritz wanted to do an ultrasound to get an idea of what my reproductive anatomy looked like.
He also had some concern that the ovaries had been moved out of place and were behind the uterus. More good news-they were right where they were supposed to be. :) The left ovary is VERY large (7 cm - 8 cm/normal is 2 cm) which presents it's own problems.
The next step is a surgical procedure to clamp off the tubes from the uterus. This will keep the fluid from getting into and possibly damaging the uterus. It also means that the fluid will not be there when they attempt to implant an egg down the road.
Overall...I give this appointment an A+. Dr. Fritz was encouraged by the news we had today and, like me, is taking this one step at a time.
God truly has answered all my prayers up to this point and I will continue to trust in Him that His will for my life will be done.
By telling my story, I have been reminded what terrific friends I have in my life. Those of you that I don't get to see or talk to on a regular basis, know that you are just as special to me and that your prayers and thoughts mean more to me than you know. To those of you that I lean on each and everyday (you know who you are)-thanks for always being there for me. Love to you all!
Under the Knife
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
I had NO idea what to call this blog post but I did want to share this part of my journey here since I have had so many people supporting me and reaching out to me throughout this journey.
I mentioned in my last post, after my most recent doctor's visit, that I would have to have a surgical procedure done to close off my fallopian tubes in order to keep the fluid that is created in them, out of my uterus. This fluid has been described to me as "toxic" to both my eggs and any sperm that are introduced as well as similar to oil in that if the doctor was to implant a fertilized embryo into my uterus, it would be very difficult if not impossible to implant along the uterine wall.
The process for rectifying this situation, is by inserting a clamp on the fallopian tube at the point in which it meets the uterus. Bluntly, this is a tubal ligation. However, I like to use the medical term of bilateral tubal occlusion because it doesn't sound as if I am electing to have the procedure done. Trust me when I say, if there was any other process I could do, I would.
- I don't love the idea of having surgery (who does?) and
- I'm completely distraught over the idea that I am not going to have the option of getting pregnant naturally after this is done.
Worst case scenario (according to Dr. Fritz) is that he gets in there and finds way more scar tissue than he expects. If that's the case, and he can't get to the tubes. He will stitch me back up and not do anything. He assured me that it's OK if this happens, we can still move forward with IVF, it'll just make the journey that much harder. As he puts it, we want to "tip the balance as much in our favor as possible" before starting the process. I'm praying for nothing less than a perfect surgery and for everything to be better than he expects. From my lips, to God's ears...
So, tomorrow, Thursday, May 2, I will be heading over the Ambulatory Care Center at UNC to have an outpatient, laparoscopic surgery done by Dr. Fritz. The surgery should take less than an hour and I should be fine by the weekend, only having "discomfort" as he calls it. We'll see. At least he's giving me some prescriptions in case the pain is more than he's expecting it to be.
There are thousands of women every day that are going through the very same thing if not something much worse. It still can feel lonely at times with no one to share your feelings, etc. with (aside from JGIII of course-although he's probably tired of hearing me talk about it lol).
As always, I am grateful for each of you that has taken the time to read this and support me along this path. For those of you that have reached out to me, either in the comments or on Facebook-a huge thank you. I know that I am not alone in this journey.
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